Lady & the Vamp

“Barkley, did you think Lady & the Vamp was funny?”

“Woof!”

“Barkley, was the part where Quinn was asking you if you located Janie’s sister, funny as hell?’

“Woof!”

Yes, this is how the conversation goes between Quinn and Barkley, who happens to be in werewolf form, when Quinn questions him about Janie’s sister. I thought this was the funniest part of the book and laughed through the whole conversation. Michelle Rowen is so clever. I really enjoyed Lady & the Vamp.

It was an interesting read and finding out Quinn’s story after reading about him in the Immortality Bites series was an enjoyable adventure. Rowen has more funny lines in the book. Another part that cracked me up was when the demon Boss has Janie and Quinn comes to save her. Quinn throws the red stone at the demon Boss expecting him to catch it, but it hits the Boss in the face. Hilarious!

The whole love thing between Barkley and Janie’s sister, Angela, and Lenny amused me. You’ll have to read the book to see how that love triangle worked out. Lenny’s poetry is hysterical. I don’t know what is funnier “Why Vampires are Bad” or his poem about Janie or how Janie reacts to Lenny reading the poetry to her. I’m laughing as I recall all of it.

I read on Rowen’s website that if the Immortality Bites series went to the big screen she has Hugh Jackman in mind to play Thierry. I had to think about that. Hugh is S-E-X-Y and after much thought I could see him as Thierry. As I read Lady & the Vamp, I kept picturing Ryan Phillippe as Quinn. Besides being extremely, blond cuteness, like Quinn is described (by the way, Why is there a dark haired guy on the cover of Lady & the Vamp when Quinn is blond?) and Phillippe would portray the whole depression about being a vampire well.

Who would play Barkley? I need to give more thought about who would play him. But Barkley’s leg humping issues, you guessed it, FUNNY!

Trueblood 2010 - Season 3

This season of Trueblood is hmmm what word or words do I want to use? Well, Sookie and Bill’s relationship has taken a very strange turn. They were very much in love until werewolves, a king vampire and near death got in their way. From the previews from the latest episode, I’m wondering if Sookie will ever love Bill again and what the sexy vampire Eric is up to. Is he trying to get Sookie all to himself?

There have been hints about Eric’s feelings towards Sookie. The very tall, blond vampire is quite sexy and I’m not sure if he’s a good guy. Last season, he seemed like a good guy where as in the first season he seemed evil, but now I’m not sure anymore. He definitely has an agenda, but it’s not clear what his plans are.

Werewolves, Sam’s family and a very psychotic vampire have entered this season of Trueblood. The psychotic vampire we are led to believe is dead, but I’m wondering if he really is gone. Wait, aren’t vampires in Trueblood dead so when they are killed by someone are they really, super dead then? I’ve been reading so many different versions of vampires where they aren’t dead or they are the walking dead that I’ve forgotten what the vampires in Trueblood are.

Well, this psychotic vampire, Franklin, was Cromwell in The Tudors. I have to say he doesn’t make a sexy vampire, but he does make a believable crazy bloodsucker. He wanted Sookie’s friend, Tara, to be his vampire bride. In the beginning, they had a fun, hot one nighter, but Franklin is a bit strange and Tara picks up on his weirdness. Before he turns her into a vamp, she beats him with some kind of weapon. We don’t see his dead body so this makes me wonder if he’ll be back later in the season.

The werewolves behave like uneducated, southern hicks, who get their kicks off drinking vampire blood and killing. Patrick Swayze’s brother, Don, is one of the werewolves and a cast member from Ugly Betty as Conner Owens, who was Wilhelmina Slater’s love interest and Cooter on Trueblood is another familiar face. Cooter is the leader of a werewolf pack and Conner plays the southern hick well.

Sam saves his half-brother from dog fighting. His brother and his mother are shape-shifters just like Sam. After getting to know his family, Sam figures out that his brother is being coerced into shifting and participating in dog fighting after he’s in Pit bull form. Sam saves his brother from a fight after shifting himself into a Pit bull and entering into the owner’s home where many dogs are housed for the deadly sport. Sam releases all the dogs before he breaks up the dog fight where his brother is battling a Rottweiler.

I’m not sure what I think of this season. Bizarre was my first reaction and I’m a bit confused by where the story is going for Sookie and Bill. And I’m wondering what other crazy shit is waiting for us in the coming episodes. However, I’m still thirsty for more of the Southern vampire tales.

The Darkest Lie

I’ve decided tonight that I need to marry someone rich so I can spend my days writing books, reading erotic, romance lit and blog. But I had to remind myself I was already married, so I went to Plan B which is win the lottery. (laughing) I read where a woman won the lottery jackpot four times, so it could happen for me. But then cursed, damn it, I’d have to move back to Texas. Yes, the woman was winning the lottery in Texas!

Okay, on to The Darkest Lie. Gideon is one of my favorite Lords. When he talks Gideon talk I crack up. His conversation with Olivia in The Darkest Passion was extremely entertaining. If you haven’t figured it out by now, Gideon is possessed by the demon of lies. He can never speak the truth. Well, he can, but he has to endure excruciating pain. In The Darkest Lie, Gideon does speak the truth to Scarlet.

While reading Gideon talk, I wonder how Showalter writes his dialogue. Does she write the truth first then covert it into lies? Does she get confused in the process of writing Gideon talk? Well, I think its fun to read and wish there was another Gideon book. Well and because he’s one of my favorite Lords.

One thing I noticed about Showalter’s writing is she has multiple characters in her books and she writes their perspectives’ well. I never get lost when she switches to Paris or to Aeron or back to the main character of that particular book in the series. She does the same in “Catch a Mate.”

Anyway, back to the The Darkest Lie, after reading this book, the name Scarlet really grew on me. I’m going to get another red dog, but a female one this time and name her Scarlet. Plus, I really like red dogs, because of my Apollo, who follows me around everywhere. He’s mama’s dog.

Well, The Darkest Lie was a bit different from the other books. I say this, because the girl was different. Scarlet may just have beat out Anya as my favorite female in the Lords series. I like her, because she’s possessed with the demon nightmares, so the girl is frightening. What a weapon for the Lords against the hunters! Plus, Scarlet had such a tortured childhood, it made my heart bleed for her. Rhea is one bitch of a mother. I’ll be happy to see her downfall.

I’ll try to not give too many spoilers in this review. But Scarlet’s childhood was horrible. Her auntie and mother, pure evil. The fight between Mnemosyne (yeah I know that’s a mouthful and I had as much trouble as Gideon saying it in my head) and Scarlet was hilarious. Cronus and his popcorn. And yuck, hot sauce on popcorn, no Gideon that would not be tasty, but he is a bit weird.

Cronus does become more likable in Lies, but it made me wonder if there will be a King Gideon and Queen Scarlet at the end of the series? Hmm?

I really liked how the truth unfolds and have to agree it is the darkest lie or more like lies. How can I describe it without giving away the story, because I feel it’s the base of the whole book. Hmm, well, we are led to believe that memories were erased, but it’s not exactly what happened. When the truth comes out, I want to slap those that were so mean and they did such evil things.

On to Gideon, the tall, dark, delicious, tattooed Lord with blue hair and blue-eyes. Yummy, my kinda guy. The reason he has blue hair it was creative and so sweet, but sad. I don’t think I can say more without giving too much away.

My favorite Lord I have to say it’s a toss up between Gideon, Aeron, Lucien and Paris. Well, Paris I liked immediately, because of his personality, but darn it he’s blond not my type. I can’t wait to read Paris’ story. I’m not sure about Sienna and if I want Paris to end up with Sienna.

Lucien has those interesting eyes, one blue and one brown. Well, Aeron he’s the Lord I’m destined to be with according to the quiz on Gena Showalter’s website. A man with wings can’t get any better then that. Well, he had wings, but he’s still interesting as hell and in love with an angel. The Darkest Passion review coming soon.

So Gideon has this interesting tattoo on his backside where they call it a tramp stamp on girls. Why is that? When it’s described and how he wants to lick the same tattoo that is on Scarlet, yeah, I want to lick it. Ink on a guy, mmmm, sexy. What is this tattoo? You guessed it, read The Darkest Lie and the vivid description of it is explained a few times throughout the book.

The Immortality Bites Series

I’ve decided it’s a blogging night. The weather here is over a hundred degrees and right about now I’m wishing I had air conditioning or a Dilly bar from Dairy Queen to help cool me down. My concentration has been shot by the heat, seeing a snake and a mouse. I’m not scared of mice, but seeing rodents I would have to say not on my top ten fav list. Snakes terrify me and I think, “What the hell am I back in Texas?” when I see one. Snakes were everywhere in Texas and they were vicious. I had a snake strike at me on a bike path. Scared the shit out of me!

Why was I living in Texas? I asked myself that the four years I was there. It was hot, oh wait, that’s not the best description to explain the heat, it was fucking hot in Texas. And I happen to live in a suburb where the people were Republicans. If you are Republican, I don’t want hate mail telling me how Republicans are the shit. I voted for Obama so you know where I stand politically. My neighbors were anti-gay. I have gay friends and family members. Once I realized where I was living I told my husband we have to get the hell out of here. I can’t be around anti-gay people. Gays should be able to get married just like the rest of the straight crowd. I voted for gay marriage despite my Texas neighbors attempt to persuade me to vote against it. Needless to say, the bill did not pass to allow gay Texans to marry.

I did not intend this blog to be about snakes and Texas, but now you know my thoughts about both.

The Immortality Bites Series, well, I just loved these books. I discovered Michelle Rowen during a search on how to write a query letter to agents. Looking for samples so I understood how to write a query letter, I came across Michelle's letter. After reading the description of Dearly Departed (the original title of Bitten & Smitten), I thought this sounds really interesting and I have to read it.

Bitten & Smitten did not disappoint. I read all the books in the series twice and if Sarah Dearly existed I would be friends with her, as long as, she didn’t try to bite me. Yes, Sarah was turned into a vampire, met a hot 600 plus year old vampire, Thierry and had several mishaps with hunters. Oh and she had a vampire curse put on her by some bitchy classmate that had a chip on her shoulder the size of Africa or maybe Russia. Sarah wasn’t the nice vamp when the curse possessed her. She was biting her friends and Thierry, but Thierry enjoyed it and it brought out his dark-side.

If you haven’t recognized my smart-ass mouth and dark humor, well I’m possessed with both, so Sarah and Michelle are my kind of peeps. This was my first exposure to Chick-Lit. I had no idea what I was about to read and it had me laughing out loud. My husband would ask me what I was laughing about. I told him he has to read the Immortality Bites series. He liked the Bridget Jones books and he loves Anne Rice books, so I think he’ll like Bitten & Smitten, Fanged & Fabulous, Stakes & Stilettos, and Tall, Dark & Fangsome.

There is another book in the series Lady & the Vamp, which I haven’t read yet, but it’s sitting here staring at me. Beckoning me to open it, read it and laugh. I haven’t read it yet, because it’s not about Sarah and Thierry. The book revolves around Quinn, the hunter turned vampire, who tried to kill Sarah, he’s turned into a vampire, loathes being a blood-sucking creature, thinks he loves Sarah and ends up falling in love with someone else. Did you follow that?

Michelle Rowen is hilarious. Her writing is sarcastic and there were things in the books that I found extremely funny. Do vampires really need to brush their fangs? Vampires get hangovers, well, with moonshine. Vampires tan in tanning beds. B-positive not just tasty blood for Sarah. All the death situations that Sarah gets herself into amused me and I wondered can one person be that accident prone? When Thierry tries to loosen up and be funny, he’s really not funny, but I laughed. Despite that Sarah is a vamp, she’s still the same girl she was before being turned into a creature of the night. She still loves to shop, wear t-shirts with Rhinestones on them and cries when she loses her reflection. The rest of the characters Amy, Quinn, Barry, Veronique (who is Thierry’s wife, yeah, complication, you’ll have to read the books to see how that turns out, if Thierry stays with his vamp wife or with Sarah) and George are just as entertaining as Sarah.

One of my favorite lines in the books is when Sarah cries about killing Spiderman. If you’re wondering what that is all about, check-out the Immortality Bites series.

How the hell do I write an outline and synopsis of my book?

As a writer or I should say as an unpublished, aspiring writer, I must work a 9-5 job. Well, I don’t really work 9-5 and I work part-time and I prefer working nights, because I really hate getting up early and I am a night owl or maybe I’m part vampire. Anyhoo, I’ve been working a lot at my paying job where I work at a hospital. Why a hospital, because they have night hours and at all different times at night. Plus, it’s where I was able to find a job.

Oh and I’ve been working temporary jobs at the hospital. Well, I was working one temp assignment and it was about to end and I got another one. This happened right around the time I was editing the hell out of my finished book. I was getting my query letter together and that is ready to go. I’m thinking I’m ready to find a literary agent. Oh wait, what the hell is an outline and a synopsis that some of these literary agents are asking for? Shit, now I have to write a five page synopsis and a 20 page outline of my book. Did I already curse and use several curse words?

So here I am I think it’s been six weeks struggling and avoiding the synopsis and outline that I’ve completed a rough draft of. I really don’t know if I’ve done the outline correctly. The synopsis I don’t find as difficult, but I’ve been fretting over the outline for the past six weeks. Any published writers out there that have advice on writing an outline or want to send me samples I’ll gladly love the advice and samples. I searched the internet for outline samples and came up with nada.

I thought editing the book was hard, but I’m finding writing the outline to be a nightmare. I’ll probably start dreaming about it.

But the plus side to writing my own book, I’ve been reading a ton of books. I use to read a lot as a kid, but after I hit my teens and definitely in college I didn’t read that much. I would read a book here and there and the same authors, James Patterson, John Grisham, Patricia Cornwell and sometimes Tami Hoag. Then I discovered Jaid Black, she writes a mixture of romance and erotica that is called Romantica. I saw her on the Montel Williams show and was instantly curious so I bought one of her books immediately. And Vikings never sounded sexier and the um...sex in the book…um… arousing.

Now, I’m obsessed with Gena Showalter’s and Michelle Rowan’s books. At first, I read all the Lords of the Underworld books by Showalter. I wasn’t really interested in her other books, because well they didn’t have Aeron, Paris, Strider, Gideon, Maddox, Reyes, Cameo, Lucien, Torin, Sabin, Kane, and Baden in them. The Lords are demon-possessed, but oh so appealing on the page. Well, I had “Catch a Mate” sitting here for the longest time and I finished “The Darkest Lie,” which I loved and was sad when I finished it, because the next Lord book doesn’t come out until the spring of 2011. Man, that’s a long time to wait at least for me.

I was jonesing for some more Showalter so I started reading “Catch a Mate.” Fell in love with Marcus after I read he had an English accent. I might leave my husband for a man with an English accent (No, I’m kidding), but my fantasy man is a dark-haired, blue, green or hazel eye, muscle bound guy with an English or Aussie accent. Yes, a character with these attributes will show up in one of my books, because he’s my fantasy. I don’t know of any Hollywood actor that fits that description, but if you’ve read any of the Lord books, Gideon sounds like the kind of guy I would drool over. Oh, I think he has a Hungarian accent, does he?

Oh, back to “Catch a Mate,” after reading this book I am now awaiting the rest of Showalter’s books. And Michelle Rowen’s books. Her Immortality Bites series I read twice. Thierry is the type of guy or should I call him vampire since that is what he is in the book that would catch my interest.

For a person, who did not read romance books, I’m hooked now. The sex in Showalter’s books, um how do I say this and keep it PG? Well, let’s just say my husband reaps the benefits of me reading her books.

Okay, this officially stopped being a blog now that it has exceeded the word count where I try to stay under a page. It’s close to 800 words and I think blogs should be short and sweet. Now, as I wrap this blog up, I’m asking myself what was the point of this blog. It started as a rant about my difficulties of writing an outline and synopsis. I guess I needed to get some things off of my brain and down on cyber paper. (smile)

The Darkest Whisper

Again, I must say I’m obsessed with Gena Showalter’s Lord of the Underworld series. I’ve read all of them, The Darkest Night, The Darkest Kiss, The Darkest Pleasure, The Darkest Whisper, The Darkest Passion and eagerly awaiting The Darkest Lie.

I plan to write a review for each book and I know I’m writing them out of order, but after reading some reviews of The Darkest Whisper I had to write this one next.

There will be spoilers in this blog, so if you don’t want to know what happens in The Darkest Whisper stop reading and move on to something else. (wink)

After reading several reviews, many readers were pissed about Sabin (who is possessed by the Demon of Doubt) letting Gwen allow her father to just walk away. Who is Gwen’s father, will read the book and you will find out? I won’t let that cat out of the bag or should I say demon out of the bag, hee hee.

Anyhoo, I liked the way the whole Sabin, Gwen and her father played out. I mean if you think about it from a literary point-of-view if the father was killed where would the series go. The leader of the hunters would be killed and what would the hunters do? And remember Gwen is known as Gwen the Timid not Gwen the Sadistic killer! Yeah, she’s a harpy and can kill like a animal, but again, she’s timid and not your typical harpy.

So letting her father go, it made complete sense to me. I mean it’s her father, who yeah wasn’t around and is a killer and betrays the Lords, but if you met your father for the first time would you slice his throat to cut off his head? Okay, maybe, there are some who would do that, but Gwen didn’t.

And I didn’t think if Gwen did kill her father, it wouldn’t have been a spectacular enough ending for him. The end of Gwen’s father would have to be more cruel and I think it should be accomplished by the hands of the Lords. Or maybe Cronus. Or maybe Anya, now, she is wicked and quite a warrior. She’s my favorite of all the Lord’s women, which I’ll get to in The Darkest Kiss review. Or maybe, Gwen’s father won’t be put to death, but will be cursed in some way for the rest of his existence. I know he’s already cursed by a demon, but maybe, another curse like Maddox had to suffer with for years. Just a thought.

I enjoyed The Darkest Whisper. Gwen is one of my favorite of the Lord women, because she’s such a contradiction to what she should be since she’s a harpy. I kept picturing a Botticelli like woman since Gwen has red hair. It’s always fun to read about the Lords softening due to the women entering their lives and stealing their hearts. Awe, romance between a butterfly tattooed, demon possessed, hot, muscled warrior and a beautiful woman, who can literally tear your throat out. Titillating reading!

Fun Dog and Cat Pics Depicting Twilight Moments

I’m a Twilight fan and was very amused by these pics, so I thought I would share my find. My favorite pictures are Wolf Boy, Designed to Kill, Dr. Fang, an Evil Vampire Army (Those Labs look vicious) and Puppy Love. Before seeing these pictures I didn’t know Bloodhounds sparkled in the sun, the things we learn from Twilight.

Some of the cast of Twilight love dogs, too! Nikki Reed (Rosalie Hale) saved a Pit Bull from death row. She volunteers at animal shelters and noticed the adorable Pit as it was being escorted to its death. After Reed saw the gorgeous canine, she took her home and is helping the Pit adjust to her new pampered life.

Ashley Greene (Alice Cullen) adores her little toy Fox Terrier, Marlo, who she misses dearly when she has to be away for work. Greene feels guilty leaving Marlo, but there are many family members and friends willing to keep the pup company while Greene is away on Twilight business. She found Marlo online and had to adopt him.

Checkout Dogspired blogs and read about Kellan Lutz’s love for dogs. He’s rescued two pups, Kola and Kevin. Kola was his first pick from a local California animal shelter, after she burrowed her head between his legs. Kevin was running around the streets as a stray when Lutz took him home. Lutz loves dogs so much that he’s the spokesperson for PETA’s campaign “Adopt, Don’t Buy.”

I can’t forget Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen) the Twilight vampire with the most crazed Twi-hard fans. Pattinson has a dog named Patti, who he claims is the love of his life. We dog lovers understand how Patti can be the love of the vampire’s life and couldn’t live without our furry friends either!

Twi-hard fans share your favorite pics, after checking out the funny photos on People.com